Goin' to the beach!!!!! YAY!!!!!

As my title suggests, I'm headed to the beach for a few days! I can't wait! The beach is my favorite place to go. :) I feel like I can do whatever I want there. I can read, run, relax, and just be. As one of my friends has said, "The sun will keep rising and setting, and the ocean waves will never stop." Those of you who are close to me know that I'm experiencing (what I think are) some deep depression symptoms lately, and hopefully this trip will help me snap out of that.

I've been asking around for some ideas about snacks on the beach while laying out/sitting on the sand. I'm already thinking wine/wine coolers are in the plan, along with some nilla wafers, because they're sweet and won't melt! What are some other suggestions? (Doesn't necessarily need to be healthy... just "beachy!" :) )

Thanks for your suggestions!

Changes over time...

In 3rd grade, we teach the students about "changes over time". We discuss how Pioneers lived and compare it to our lives these days. The changes are amazing if we really take the time to reflect on them. The students really get a lot out of this unit.

Anyway, I digress...

Today mom and I completed a workout tape made back in the 1980's. You know... with a bunch of barbie girls sporting their skimpy black leotards and dancing to all the popular 80's hits; very reminiscent of those 80's music videos. My point is, it was about 38 minutes long, and not nearly as intense as today's workout videos, like Jillian's and Bob's. It's amazing how much the exercise requirements and intensity expectations have risen in just as little as 20 years. Back then, you got a workout if you just had a little "glow" of sweat. Now, you pretty much have to be dying and sweating buckets after an hour of intense cardio/strength training in order to feel like you've really gotten something out of it. Why is that? Is it because our world has become so unhealthy? Is it because of the rise in the fast food and soda industries? Is it because of our obesity epidemic? Who knows. Another example in changes over time..? Doesn't quite seem fair, does it? Any thoughts?

Another fact about me that some of you may not know is that I love to sing in choir. I feel like I am right in my element when I'm singing in an ensemble. I can sing both soprano and alto, although my favorite is second soprano. While some people struggle to learn a new piece of music, I can pretty much read through it the first time and already know it. (This is before all of the musical embellishments and notations are added by whomever directs the choir.) If I could describe an example of a perfect day, sightreading music I've never seen before would have to be included. This is one of the few things that comes naturally to me and one of the few areas where I have a lot of leadership potential. If only this confidence could spill over into other aspects of my life, then I'd be all set!

Yesterday Big Brother came on! It comes on tonight, too! I wonder who will be evicted. I know who I want to leave, but I don't think it'll happen.

Have a great day! Hope to hear from you!

My apologies...

I've been gone... well not gone... but too embarrassed to blog. I've sort of fallen off the bandwagon in the eating department. I eat a lot of sweets, and I can't really seem to stop. They're all I want, and it shows. I've put on some weight--it's not ghastly right now, but I'm terrified that it'll get there.
On the upside, I still work out. I love it. I'm running more than ever, and I've incorporated more exercise videos because I was getting bored. (Sorry Jillian.. I love you, but Bob's awesome, too!) I'm still working out with my trainer, so I'm just hoping and praying that my weight balances out. Right now, it's doing it's usual steady incline. :( My energy to care is running out... the cheesecake, Nilla wafers, and white chocolate chips are oh so tempting...

Even though I'm off the bandwagon, I'm going to try to keep blogging. I enjoy reading your blogs and I know that it's boring reading about only eating habits. So I'll try to blog daily in some way. My life just isn't that exciting though. It's pretty routine. I wake up, work out, eat breakfast, go to work as an elementary school teacher, go home, eat dinner, facebook/watch tv, and go to sleep. I really need to put myself out there more because I'm so shy. I'm 25 and pretty much have no life at all. Not that I'm complaining... I enjoy being by myself. It very rarely gets old. It's just become too comfortable.

One thing I really enjoy doing is watching reality tv...(man that makes me sound like a total couch potato.) But really, my favorite show is Big Brother and it's right in the middle of it's 12th season. I used to watch it constantly because I had access to Showtime 2, but I don't now. It's probably a good thing because I'd spend my entire vacation in front of the television if I could see it. I love watching people interact with one another, whether they get along fine, get intimate, or get in fights all the time. It's all fun. I wish I had the courage to apply. I wouldn't last 2 days, but the experience would be so rewarding, no matter what would happen. I read about the updates on a spoiler website and get updates on my phone, so I always know what's going to happen before it's broadcasted on television. I enjoy that, believe it or not. So that's taking up a lot of my time these days.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll reveal something else about me... I just have to think about what's interesting enough for you to want to read about...

Last night was normal....(I hope...)

Hello all!
Last night I went out to eat with one of my good friends. I hadn't seen her in a while and so we went to dinner to celebrate her birthday at the Cheesecake Factory! Yum!!!! Yes, I overate, but even the most normal eaters overeat at times! I had a glass of wine-the best wine I've ever tasted. I also had a yummy spicy cashew chicken dish (didn't finish it) and of course an entire piece of red velvet cheesecake with ice cream!

Overeat? Yes! Binge? No! (Lauren... quit feeling guilty... you never go to the Cheesecake Factory, you can have a piece of cheesecake!)

I was so full, but I was also on a big sugar high. I wanted to binge, but I also wanted to keep enjoying the high, if that makes any sense at all to those of you who are not overeaters. So I resisted the urge to finish off my chicken and eat anymore sweet stuff.

Enough about my accountability! That's boring, I know.

I'm having a hard time coming up with other things to write about on here. If anyone wants to know anything other than what I eat, which I'm sure is quite thrilling to you, then let me know, and I'll do my best to address them on here! :)

Back On Track...and a bit about me.

Well, yesterday marks the 15th day of being "sugar binge free." That doesn't mean I haven't wanted to, and it doesn't mean I don't think about sweets every second, but I've resisted bingeing for 15 days.
My body feels better. It may not look better, and I think the pounds from it will stay with me, but that's okay. Perhaps my body was begging for something it needed... I don't know. All I know is that I'm back under control, for now. I have no plans to stop exercising, and my fitness level is beyond what I thought possible for me. I have to believe that along with that, and my binge-free eating, my weight will stabilize at where my body is comfortable. I have to trust that my body knows what's right for it.

I realize that my blog is probably very boring. I only talk about my abnormal food and weight issues. I really should start talking about other aspects of my life, but to be quite honest, my life isn't very exciting. I prefer to be alone as opposed to being with a big group of people. I don't party often enough. I'm not a big risk taker and I never have been. I can't dance (which is weird considering my background in music.) My life consists of family, teaching, exercising, eating, sleeping, and Bella (my adorable 2 year old dachshund.)

I'm 25 and I'm single. Perhaps this is because I'm shy and I don't go out much. Perhaps it's because I'm not pretty/hot/attractive, etc... to men. Perhaps it's because my job is comprised primarily of females, most of which are taken/married, or have their own groups they mingle with. However, if/when I meet the guy I'm going to marry, I want it to happen naturally and within my comfort zone. I don't want to meet him at some bar or some club because that's not my normal venue and I wouldn't want to give anyone the wrong idea about my personality. I've tried the online stuff and the blind dates, but really, what are the chances that it's going to work out on a blind date? Slim to None! I'm not knocking internet dating or blind dates, it just hasn't worked for me, and again, I'm not much of a risk taker. So I guess I'm out of luck, unless I meet someone at my gym, or the population of male teachers my age drastically increases in the teaching profession!

Well, that's it from me today. Anyone have any ideas on how I can put myself out there, but still remain within my comfort zones? Suggestions are welcome and appreciated! :) Off to the gym!

What a little alcohol will do...

So, last night, my mom brought us a bottle of chocolate wine to share. If you haven't tried it, like red wine, and like chocolate, I HIGHLY recommend it. It's one of the best things ever invented! :)
The only problem is, when I drink, I get really really hungry, and last night was no exception. After a couple of glasses (and a shot of tequila...shhhh...) I was ready to hit up the fast food joints, whip out the marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers, and indulge!

I didn't! :) :) :)

That's all I wanted to say!

I'm totally back... and I'm proud of myself!

This week has been binge free so far!!!! When I go from bingeing almost everyday to controlling the urges when knowing all of my "good stuff" is laying around my house yelling my name, it's very empowering. Having a sweet a day is really helping me; knowing that I'm not going to be deprived of them. I'm being taught what moderation is at 25 years old. It's about time!
However, I'm usually good during the week. It's the weekends where I get off track. I'm not sure why that is... perhaps because I sit at home, and on Sundays, I don't generally follow an eating plan... that would do it, huh?

Anyway, I'm not sure where my weight stands. I haven't weighed in a few weeks. I'm almost afraid to. I wouldn't be surprised if I've gained 15 pounds. I don't want to look because I do feel good, I look good, and my fitness level is amazing right now. I don't want a number to discourage the way I feel about myself. I may have my mom remove my scale from my home just to repel the urge to weigh. I've got to realize that it's about self-esteem, body image, and general healthiness, and not about a number on a scale. In that way, I've been able to let go. Baby steps...

Side Note:

There is one person I really need to especially thank... and that's my mom. (I know you read this, sometimes). She has been there with me more than anyone and has done everything she can to help me. She exercises with me (and looks amazing), cooks meals for me, buys and gives me my "surprise" treats, and puts up with my (increasingly horrible) attitude. (I know I've been difficult to be around lately-I don't know exactly why, but I'll try to be better.) My mom is the best and I love her!

So, cheers to success.. and strength to pick yourself back up if you fall! Happy Friday!