Hello all!
Last night I went out to eat with one of my good friends. I hadn't seen her in a while and so we went to dinner to celebrate her birthday at the Cheesecake Factory! Yum!!!! Yes, I overate, but even the most normal eaters overeat at times! I had a glass of wine-the best wine I've ever tasted. I also had a yummy spicy cashew chicken dish (didn't finish it) and of course an entire piece of red velvet cheesecake with ice cream!
Overeat? Yes! Binge? No! (Lauren... quit feeling guilty... you never go to the Cheesecake Factory, you can have a piece of cheesecake!)
I was so full, but I was also on a big sugar high. I wanted to binge, but I also wanted to keep enjoying the high, if that makes any sense at all to those of you who are not overeaters. So I resisted the urge to finish off my chicken and eat anymore sweet stuff.
Enough about my accountability! That's boring, I know.
I'm having a hard time coming up with other things to write about on here. If anyone wants to know anything other than what I eat, which I'm sure is quite thrilling to you, then let me know, and I'll do my best to address them on here! :)
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Back On Track...and a bit about me.
Well, yesterday marks the 15th day of being "sugar binge free." That doesn't mean I haven't wanted to, and it doesn't mean I don't think about sweets every second, but I've resisted bingeing for 15 days.
My body feels better. It may not look better, and I think the pounds from it will stay with me, but that's okay. Perhaps my body was begging for something it needed... I don't know. All I know is that I'm back under control, for now. I have no plans to stop exercising, and my fitness level is beyond what I thought possible for me. I have to believe that along with that, and my binge-free eating, my weight will stabilize at where my body is comfortable. I have to trust that my body knows what's right for it.
I realize that my blog is probably very boring. I only talk about my abnormal food and weight issues. I really should start talking about other aspects of my life, but to be quite honest, my life isn't very exciting. I prefer to be alone as opposed to being with a big group of people. I don't party often enough. I'm not a big risk taker and I never have been. I can't dance (which is weird considering my background in music.) My life consists of family, teaching, exercising, eating, sleeping, and Bella (my adorable 2 year old dachshund.)
I'm 25 and I'm single. Perhaps this is because I'm shy and I don't go out much. Perhaps it's because I'm not pretty/hot/attractive, etc... to men. Perhaps it's because my job is comprised primarily of females, most of which are taken/married, or have their own groups they mingle with. However, if/when I meet the guy I'm going to marry, I want it to happen naturally and within my comfort zone. I don't want to meet him at some bar or some club because that's not my normal venue and I wouldn't want to give anyone the wrong idea about my personality. I've tried the online stuff and the blind dates, but really, what are the chances that it's going to work out on a blind date? Slim to None! I'm not knocking internet dating or blind dates, it just hasn't worked for me, and again, I'm not much of a risk taker. So I guess I'm out of luck, unless I meet someone at my gym, or the population of male teachers my age drastically increases in the teaching profession!
Well, that's it from me today. Anyone have any ideas on how I can put myself out there, but still remain within my comfort zones? Suggestions are welcome and appreciated! :) Off to the gym!
My body feels better. It may not look better, and I think the pounds from it will stay with me, but that's okay. Perhaps my body was begging for something it needed... I don't know. All I know is that I'm back under control, for now. I have no plans to stop exercising, and my fitness level is beyond what I thought possible for me. I have to believe that along with that, and my binge-free eating, my weight will stabilize at where my body is comfortable. I have to trust that my body knows what's right for it.
I realize that my blog is probably very boring. I only talk about my abnormal food and weight issues. I really should start talking about other aspects of my life, but to be quite honest, my life isn't very exciting. I prefer to be alone as opposed to being with a big group of people. I don't party often enough. I'm not a big risk taker and I never have been. I can't dance (which is weird considering my background in music.) My life consists of family, teaching, exercising, eating, sleeping, and Bella (my adorable 2 year old dachshund.)
I'm 25 and I'm single. Perhaps this is because I'm shy and I don't go out much. Perhaps it's because I'm not pretty/hot/attractive, etc... to men. Perhaps it's because my job is comprised primarily of females, most of which are taken/married, or have their own groups they mingle with. However, if/when I meet the guy I'm going to marry, I want it to happen naturally and within my comfort zone. I don't want to meet him at some bar or some club because that's not my normal venue and I wouldn't want to give anyone the wrong idea about my personality. I've tried the online stuff and the blind dates, but really, what are the chances that it's going to work out on a blind date? Slim to None! I'm not knocking internet dating or blind dates, it just hasn't worked for me, and again, I'm not much of a risk taker. So I guess I'm out of luck, unless I meet someone at my gym, or the population of male teachers my age drastically increases in the teaching profession!
Well, that's it from me today. Anyone have any ideas on how I can put myself out there, but still remain within my comfort zones? Suggestions are welcome and appreciated! :) Off to the gym!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
What a little alcohol will do...
So, last night, my mom brought us a bottle of chocolate wine to share. If you haven't tried it, like red wine, and like chocolate, I HIGHLY recommend it. It's one of the best things ever invented! :)
The only problem is, when I drink, I get really really hungry, and last night was no exception. After a couple of glasses (and a shot of tequila...shhhh...) I was ready to hit up the fast food joints, whip out the marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers, and indulge!
I didn't! :) :) :)
That's all I wanted to say!
The only problem is, when I drink, I get really really hungry, and last night was no exception. After a couple of glasses (and a shot of tequila...shhhh...) I was ready to hit up the fast food joints, whip out the marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers, and indulge!
I didn't! :) :) :)
That's all I wanted to say!
Friday, July 2, 2010
I'm totally back... and I'm proud of myself!
This week has been binge free so far!!!! When I go from bingeing almost everyday to controlling the urges when knowing all of my "good stuff" is laying around my house yelling my name, it's very empowering. Having a sweet a day is really helping me; knowing that I'm not going to be deprived of them. I'm being taught what moderation is at 25 years old. It's about time!
However, I'm usually good during the week. It's the weekends where I get off track. I'm not sure why that is... perhaps because I sit at home, and on Sundays, I don't generally follow an eating plan... that would do it, huh?
Anyway, I'm not sure where my weight stands. I haven't weighed in a few weeks. I'm almost afraid to. I wouldn't be surprised if I've gained 15 pounds. I don't want to look because I do feel good, I look good, and my fitness level is amazing right now. I don't want a number to discourage the way I feel about myself. I may have my mom remove my scale from my home just to repel the urge to weigh. I've got to realize that it's about self-esteem, body image, and general healthiness, and not about a number on a scale. In that way, I've been able to let go. Baby steps...
Side Note:
There is one person I really need to especially thank... and that's my mom. (I know you read this, sometimes). She has been there with me more than anyone and has done everything she can to help me. She exercises with me (and looks amazing), cooks meals for me, buys and gives me my "surprise" treats, and puts up with my (increasingly horrible) attitude. (I know I've been difficult to be around lately-I don't know exactly why, but I'll try to be better.) My mom is the best and I love her!
So, cheers to success.. and strength to pick yourself back up if you fall! Happy Friday!
However, I'm usually good during the week. It's the weekends where I get off track. I'm not sure why that is... perhaps because I sit at home, and on Sundays, I don't generally follow an eating plan... that would do it, huh?
Anyway, I'm not sure where my weight stands. I haven't weighed in a few weeks. I'm almost afraid to. I wouldn't be surprised if I've gained 15 pounds. I don't want to look because I do feel good, I look good, and my fitness level is amazing right now. I don't want a number to discourage the way I feel about myself. I may have my mom remove my scale from my home just to repel the urge to weigh. I've got to realize that it's about self-esteem, body image, and general healthiness, and not about a number on a scale. In that way, I've been able to let go. Baby steps...
Side Note:
There is one person I really need to especially thank... and that's my mom. (I know you read this, sometimes). She has been there with me more than anyone and has done everything she can to help me. She exercises with me (and looks amazing), cooks meals for me, buys and gives me my "surprise" treats, and puts up with my (increasingly horrible) attitude. (I know I've been difficult to be around lately-I don't know exactly why, but I'll try to be better.) My mom is the best and I love her!
So, cheers to success.. and strength to pick yourself back up if you fall! Happy Friday!
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